More picture of the Taj Mahal’s detailed carvings and marble work..and some info on Love and Marriage in India
So my investigation into love marriages and arranged marriages continues. Furthuring my interest Kuldeep answered many questions that I was curious about. When getting married, there is a dowry that the bride’s family needs to pay. It is usually all of the household items and money, dependant on the wealth of the family. The bride will also pay for the ceremony ( which can be as long as 5 days). It is tradition that the brides aunt and uncle will give the couple a gift as well…usually 20,000 to 50, 000 Rs This is the traditional sense. Kuldeep to0ld me that he and many others do not always expect a dowry and the money from the aunt and uncle but it is the way.
He also told me that in India it is based on a joint family tradition. The brothers will stay together in living arrangements with their mother and father while the daught is expected to move in with her husband’s family and brothers. He was surprised that Canadians live independent of their families in many cases. He said that the other families take care of the children and duties in a communal sense. How old? Well for women 20-25, for men 25, 30 to 40. The one thing that is essential is that child brides have been outlawed and men are not allowed to marry before 25.
I asked him if he got to meet his wife prior to marrying him and he laughed and said yes…but this is not the traditional way The men and women that have love marriages will receive no support from their families or friends..he was very clear that they would be isolated and not supported.. He said these marriages do not often last. He told me that to see the young couples out who are not married and in his words “making fun” of the traditions of India were very disrespectful. I was a little sheepish in the idea that I could not tell the difference between the married and unmarried couples. He noted a few in the places we were…I asked about dating and he said that it is not approved of but media and movies are eroding the traditional values.
I have seen this in the youth going to discos in the hotel. It is a shock to see anyone’s legs here, westerners and Indian people included. I have been here a short time and I will catch myself staring. So, to see music videos and young women in short skirt is not fashion dress that is approved of here. And dating before marriage is a hidden secret and does not have the approval of the majority.
Big or small it is okay to show your belly (except in Haryana and Punjab) but to show your legs is obscene.
As for infidelity, if it does happen it is denied profusely. Arranged marriages are defended and believed to work better than love marriages. But it is questionable when one sees t-shirts that say MBA: married but available and many people of all ages are on love match sites in the internet places and there are many people seeking connections with westerners
So my investigation into love marriages and arranged marriages continues. Furthuring my interest Kuldeep answered many questions that I was curious about. When getting married, there is a dowry that the bride’s family needs to pay. It is usually all of the household items and money, dependant on the wealth of the family. The bride will also pay for the ceremony ( which can be as long as 5 days). It is tradition that the brides aunt and uncle will give the couple a gift as well…usually 20,000 to 50, 000 Rs This is the traditional sense. Kuldeep to0ld me that he and many others do not always expect a dowry and the money from the aunt and uncle but it is the way.
He also told me that in India it is based on a joint family tradition. The brothers will stay together in living arrangements with their mother and father while the daught is expected to move in with her husband’s family and brothers. He was surprised that Canadians live independent of their families in many cases. He said that the other families take care of the children and duties in a communal sense. How old? Well for women 20-25, for men 25, 30 to 40. The one thing that is essential is that child brides have been outlawed and men are not allowed to marry before 25.
I asked him if he got to meet his wife prior to marrying him and he laughed and said yes…but this is not the traditional way The men and women that have love marriages will receive no support from their families or friends..he was very clear that they would be isolated and not supported.. He said these marriages do not often last. He told me that to see the young couples out who are not married and in his words “making fun” of the traditions of India were very disrespectful. I was a little sheepish in the idea that I could not tell the difference between the married and unmarried couples. He noted a few in the places we were…I asked about dating and he said that it is not approved of but media and movies are eroding the traditional values.
I have seen this in the youth going to discos in the hotel. It is a shock to see anyone’s legs here, westerners and Indian people included. I have been here a short time and I will catch myself staring. So, to see music videos and young women in short skirt is not fashion dress that is approved of here. And dating before marriage is a hidden secret and does not have the approval of the majority.
Big or small it is okay to show your belly (except in Haryana and Punjab) but to show your legs is obscene.
As for infidelity, if it does happen it is denied profusely. Arranged marriages are defended and believed to work better than love marriages. But it is questionable when one sees t-shirts that say MBA: married but available and many people of all ages are on love match sites in the internet places and there are many people seeking connections with westerners
In my own experience I have had a few seeking my affections, some more persistent than others. But the mother intervened on my behalf: she told him that I was the moon and he was the cloud and the cloud could not talk to the moon. She told him to wish me a happy journey from her and from him and to let me be. It was very sweet way of putting it. I told Rufas that if I was the moon then he must be my sun :)
...times are changing and many are resisting the change, but the times just keep changing,
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